


A Secret Kiss

by mushfrogg



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Autism, Autistic Zuko (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Suki (Avatar), F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay Panic, Gay Zuko (Avatar), M/M, POV First Person, POV Zuko (Avatar), bi/gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushfrogg/pseuds/mushfrogg
Summary: Zuko joins the Gaang in the North Pole instead of trying to capture Aang. They obviously don't trust him at first, but he swears that he won't hurt any of them. We get a lot of cute Zukka moments; whether it be picnics, walks through the woods, cuddling, trying to hide their relationship, pet names, learning to fight together, sharing stories, etc.Also have some neurodivergent Zuko content. It’s mostly based on my own experience as someone who grew up being forced to mask until I found a group I was comfortable with. Plus we get a bunch of gay content. Have fun.** will be updated upon completion **
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 94





	1. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko tries to join the Gaang and tries to fight Zhao on his own.

"I'll be fine, Uncle. I promise." I started to lower the canoe into the water. He waved at me. I started to row toward land.

_Why are you doing this?_ the voice in the back of my head asked. It was the good one, the one that my uncle had instilled in me. 

_Doing what?_ I asked.

_Capturing the Avatar. You could just stay out here, become a better person. Become the person you_ really _are._

_I want Father to care about me again._

_But what if he doesn't?_ the other voice in my head asked. _It's not like he cared about you. He has Azula._

_And you have someone who is more of a father to you than he is. Stay out here,_ the good voice said.

I glanced back at the ship.

_Maybe that kid from the Southern Water Tribe will actually start to like you if you do. You can have friends your age. Regain your honor in your own way._

I looked up at the sky. The moon was overhead. I tried to block out the voices and dove into the water to get into the city.

I managed to make it out of the water and warmed myself with my breath. I was still shivering. I sat down on the cold rocks and made a small flame in my hands.

"Agni, please don't let me freeze in here," I whispered. I stood up and walked through the tunnels to find the Spirit Oasis.

I managed to find it fairly easily. I walked over to where the Avatar was sitting. Two girls were standing near him, his waterbender friend and a white-haired young woman.

"Should we get someone to help us?" the white-haired one asked.

"No. I can protect him."

I walked towards them. "Hello," I said.

The water around me shot up and solidified. The Avatar's friend was glaring at me. She had her hands raised towards me.

"I thought you'd be here to take him."

"No, I'm not--"

"I don't want to hear it!"

"I'm not here to attack him!" I shouted. "I'm not here to capture him either! I want to help you!"

"You want to _help_ us?"

"Yes. Please, listen to me. I've been hurt by the Fire Nation too. I was thinking and I decided that I wanted to regain my honor my own way," I said. "If I do anything to hurt him, or any of you, you can do whatever you please with me."

"Why should I trust you?"

"Because I apologized?"

"That's not enough."

I hesitated. "Because I can teach the Avatar firebending and also help you attack the Fire Nation? Plus I know most of the threats that it poses. Like, I know who the most powerful benders are, who my father is likely to send after us… I mean, my information might be three years off, but--"

"Sorry, but why would your information be three years off?" the white-haired girl asked.

"Because I haven't been there in three years. I was banished when I was thirteen."

"Why?"

"I guess I was an embarrassment to my father."

"His _father_ is the Firelord," Katara said. 

I bit my lip. "I'll help you defeat my father," I said softly. "I'll help you defeat my sister as well."

"And who is your sister?"

"Probably the most dangerous person in the Fire Nation. Her name is Azula. She can create lightning from her fingertips and her fire is blue. She's been a prodigy since childhood."

"I don't trust you, Zuko. And I don't plan on doing so."

"Admiral Zhao will be coming here to capture the Avatar. Maybe even kill him since he's in the Avatar State. You should get your animal here and get out of here. Please, though, take me with you. You can cover my hands and feet to keep me from bending. I just can't be here when Zhao arrives."

She sighed. "We'll take you with us. When Aang comes back from the spirit realm, we'll let him decide."

The ice that encapsulated me up to my neck fell away. I fell into the water. I walked towards the two of them and held out my hands, fingers down and palms facing towards me.

"You'll get frostbite if I do that. I don't trust you, but I'm not going to freeze your fingers off."

I nodded and lowered my arms. "Where is your brother?"

"He's fighting the Fire Nation," the white-haired girl said.

My heart sank into my stomach. "But they'll kill him."

"He knows that."

_Agni, don't let this kid die._ "I hope he comes back, because him and your bison--"

"Appa."

"What?"

"His name is Appa."

"Your brother is named Appa?"

The girl slapped her forehead. "No. My brother is named Sokka. Our bison is named Appa. Did you not listen when we said at all?"

"It isn't my fault that I have trouble with that."

"It's not like you've ever needed to listen to people."

I looked away. "I try to. I'm sorry."

We stood in an awkward quiet. The fish moving in the pond caught my eye, and I watched them. It was hard to tear my eyes away.

"Yue! Katara!" I heard a voice above us shout. The sky bison landed in the water behind me. The water splashed onto me.

"Ugh…" I groaned. I shivered a little and made a stream of warm air to dry myself. "Can't you be more careful?"

"What is he doing here?" the boy on top of the bison said. 

"Apparently, he wants to join us," the waterbender said.

The boy jumped down and walked over. "Why would we trust you?"

"I don't expect you to. But I want to help you. Either way, we should get the Avatar out of here before Zhao shows up. He's probably going to kill him. Permanently. The entire Avatar cycle will be destroyed because he's in the Avatar state."

"Fine. But we're not taking _him_ with us."

"I won't attack you. I swear it. I'll keep all of you warm. I generate quite a bit of body heat."

The waterbender sighed. "Sokka, let's just bring him. Once Aang wakes up, we'll see what he thinks. Help me get Aang up onto Appa."

"Wait, hold on, I'm still kind of confused. Can everyone give me names?"

"I'm Katara, the Aang is the Avatar, Yue is the Northern Water Tribe Princess, Sokka is my brother, Appa is our bison, and Momo is our lemur."

"Right. Yeah." I nodded. "I've got names now. Good."

"And, who are you?" Yue asked.

"Zuko."

"It's nice to meet you."

I smiled a little. The two from the Southern Tribe took the Avatar up onto the bison. I helped Yue up onto the bison, and then climbed up myself. The lemur was sitting on Sokka's shoulder. The girls pulled their warmer clothing on.

"Appa, yip yip!" Sokka said. He flicked the reins and we took off. I grabbed the slide of the saddle tight.

"Oh, Agni, I'm actually flying," I said. "This is amazing… you all actually live up here?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Sokka said. "You like it?"

"I love it. It's… beautiful..." I smiled. 

"We can land here," Katara said. "That way Aang can find us easier."

The bison flew down and landed in the snow. I focused on making a small fire. The flame wasn't very big. But it was warm enough for us not to freeze.

"What are we going to do with him if he tries anything?" Sokka asked.

"Give him back to the Fire Nation?" Katara suggested.

The flame in my palm flickered. "No," I said. "I can't go back there. I'm not supposed to go back. Part of me wants to go home, but another part of me says that it's not safe for me. My father said I wasn't allowed back."

"Then what do you want us to do with you, Firelord Jr.?"

"Please, don't call me that. I'd rather you kill me than return me to the Fire Nation."

"I don't think we'll _kill_ you, but we could lock you up until Aang defeats your father."

"And my sister. My father likely has already sent her after me since the Avatar is alive and he probably doesn't want me back."

"Why can't you go back?" Yue asked.

I shook my head. "I don't like to talk about it. Let's just say that I disappointed him…"

"I understand that. I'm sure he didn't treat you very well. After all, no person who would continue a hundred year war that they could stop is likely to be a very good parent."

I nodded. We sat in silence for a minute.

The Avatar's tattoos stopped glowing. He groaned slightly.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking at all of us. He looked confused when he saw me. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to help you. I want to teach you firebending, and I want to be your friend. I want to help you defeat my father."

"I told him we'd let him stay until you got back, that way we can see what you think," Katara said.

Aang looked at me. "I mean, I think I'd be okay with it. After what happened back in the woods…"

"So the offer is still on the table?" I asked.

"Sure! But, you have to be a part of the group hugs."

I sighed. "Oh, alright. Whatever."

"What do you guys think?" he asked. He looked at the siblings.

"I think he's still a jerk, but I guess he can stay. He could be helpful," Sokka said.

"He can stay if you think it's a good idea," Katara said.

"I think he should stay. He seems nice," Yue said. She smiled at me.

I nodded and looked at my fire. It shot up suddenly, and the sky turned a dark shade of red. I jumped back and quickly extinguished it. They were all staring at me. 

"That wasn't me. I don't know what it was."

"The Moon Spirit," Yue said. She suddenly looked very tired.

My eyes widened. "Zhao was talking about taking away your bending. My uncle is with him, but he doesn't want to hurt the waterbenders or anything. Unless you were hurting someone he cares about."

"Appa! We have to go back to the oasis! Yip yip!"

We took off. I grabbed the side of the saddle and closed my eyes. We landed in the oasis. We all climbed down and ran over to the water.

One of the two fish was dead. I looked at my former enemies.

Aang stepped into the water. I stood up, not sure what he was doing. His eyes and tattoos started glowing again, and he fell straight down into the water.

"I need to go find my uncle," I said. I ran off into the city, searching for my uncle. 

I ran through the icy streets, keeping myself as well hidden from the Fire Nation soldiers as possible. I was breathing hard by the time I made it a few buildings away.

"Uncle!" I shouted. I looked around.

"Well, well, well," a voice behind me said.

I felt a shiver go down my spine. I turned around to face Zhao, lifting my fists.

"Looks like those pirates didn't do very well in killing you," he said. "Typical. Taking the money and leaving."

"You paid the pirates to kill me?" I asked.

"You didn't connect the dots?" he asked. He chuckled and raised a hand in front of me. Fire flew out of his fist. I dove out of the way and ran.

I ran as far as I could, leaping over canals and running across bridges.

I shouted in pain when a fire whip wrapped around my arm. I fell to the ground and shot a blast of fire at Zhao. I tried to raise both hands to create a larger one, but I couldn't move my now-burnt arm without it hurting.

"Where is my uncle?" I demanded, glaring at him.

"I'm sure you'll find him. Eventually."

I pulled my injured arm close and jumped into the air, kicking towards him. A flame shot out of my foot, hitting him. He shouted in pain and stumbled back. I pinned him down.

"What did you do to the Moon Spirit and my Uncle?!" I shouted.

"I killed the Moon Spirit. We've already won, Zuko."

"No. _You've_ won."

"I don't know what I expected. You're a traitor to the Fire Nation. You'll _never_ get your honor back now."

"I know. But my honor is something I get to make."

"You're a coward."

" _You're_ a coward, Zhao."

I stood up and pointed my hand at him. I tried to shoot a fire blast at him, but fell when the ground shook. I looked around.

A dark blue creature with glowing white marks was moving toward us. I jumped back and ran to hide in one of the buildings. I watched as the creature lifted up Zhao. He started shouting.

I ducked down under the window as the creature turned to face me. I closed my eyes and waited with baited breath. It moved away. 

The shouted faded. I heard the creature move away and got out of my hiding place to find my uncle. I made it to the edge of the city. I went down the tunnels back to where the canoe I'd been using was.

My uncle was sitting next to the canoe. He had been waiting for me. I walked towards him and bowed respectfully.

"Nephew. You're back sooner than I'd expected. Where is the Avatar?"

"I think he's the giant fish thing that's attacking the firebenders. I decided I wanted to join them."

He chuckled and stood up. "Well, Zuko, I'm proud of you. You're making your own destiny."

I smiled a bit. "My own honor. I'll regain it by training the Avatar, not capturing him."

Uncle hugged me tightly. For the first time in years, I hugged him back. A warm feeling spread in my chest, like my inner flame changing from orange to a bright pink.

I felt powerful. I felt happy.

The sky turned back to blue, and the moon turned silvery again. I looked up at it.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I asked.

"It is."

I smiled and looked at my uncle. "Let's get back to where the Avatar's friends are."

"They're your friends now too," he said.

The two of us went back through the city, staying hidden as we went. I walked into the oasis.

Sokka was sitting on his knees, staring at the pond in front of him in disbelief. He had tears in his eyes. His sister was sitting beside him, a hand on his shoulder. 

"What happened?" I asked. I sat down next to him.

"She's gone. Yue is _gone_."

"Oh…" I said. I looked at the water. The white fish was swimming around again.

_What in Agni's name…_

"You really liked her," I said.

"Yeah, clearly!" he snapped. He glared at me.

I instinctively recoiled at his anger. The irritation in his eyes disappeared. I moved away and sat closer to my uncle.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's fine," I said.

"What happened to your arm?" Katara asked.

I looked at it. There was a still-fresh ring-like burn in my arm. "I was fighting Zhao. He got me with a fire whip."

"Hold it still." She waterbender a small ball of water and made it wrap around my burn mark. The water started to glow. She pulled it away and bended the water back into the lake.

"Thank you," I said.

My uncle spoke up. "Now that we have joined you, we're traitors to the Fire Nation. If my niece were to find us, then I don't believe that the consequences will be very good. She's a very violent person. Even at the age of eleven, she loved seeing others in pain."

"I can only imagine her face during the Agni Kai," I said.

"What's an Agni Kai?" Katara asked.

"It's a firebending battle. They're a tradition, and generally fought between two people of the same skill level. Mine wasn't. I had to fight a master when I was still a beginner."

"Who were you fighting?" Sokka asked.

"It's not important."

"You're going to have to tell us more about the Fire Nation if you want us to win."

"I don't think knowing who I battled against is important to winning the war," I said. I stood up. "We should get ready to go. We have to go to the Earth Kingdom next."

The four of us got onto the bison and waited for Aang to return. He shot out of the water after a moment and landed on the grass. I picked him up and sat him on the saddle.

"What was the thing you said to make it fly?" I asked.

"I'll do it," Katara said. She sat at the reins. "Appa, yip yip. We need to check on everyone."

The bison jumped into the air and we went into the city. I sat next to my uncle. We landed soon in the center of the city and all climbed off.

"Zuko, give me that knife I gave you."

I pulled the pearl dagger from my pocket and handed it to him. He unsheathed it and reached up, cutting off the bun on the top of his head. He handed it to me. I cut off my ponytail and dropped it down into the water of the canals.

I put my knife away and walked over to the others. Sokka was talking with a man, and Katara was talking with another. The man Katara was talking to looked at my uncle.

"Iroh," he said.

"Hello, Pakku," Uncle said. 

"You know this guy?" I asked.

"We've played Pai Sho together a few times."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Right. You're in some grandpa Pai Sho club."

Uncle chuckled. "You could call it that. My apologies for my nephew, Pakku. He's not very good at being polite, but we've been working on it."

"My name's Zuko," I said. 

"I've heard about you."

"What have you heard about me?"

He chuckled. "Well, your uncle talks about you on occasion. The Avatar and his friends talked about you a couple times. They seem to hold very… different… views of you than your uncle does."

"Well, I did chase them across the world… and try to kill them multiple times… but I saved the Avatar's life one time. That's worth something, right?"

"I suppose it is."

"When _did_ you save Aang?" Katara asked.

_He hasn't told them that I'm the Blue Spirit?_ "It was a while ago."

"Oh. Right."

"I'm going to go talk to him. Apologize for the past few months…"

I walked past the three and over to where Aang was. He was sitting in the snow next to his bison.

"You haven't told them about our incident in the woods."

He looked up. "Was I supposed to?"

"You didn't have to, I just expected you to, I guess. You guys are all really close." I sat down next to him. "The airbenders were very accepting, right?"

"Yeah. The monks taught us to be accepting of everyone, no matter what they identify as or who they love."

"My great-grandfather banned marriage between anything but one man and one woman in the Fire Nation. I grew up thinking that I was supposed to like women, but I never really felt that way. Like, there were some girls I cared about more than others because they were really nice people, but I don't think I ever _loved_ them. Or even liked them, in that sense."

"So, you're gay. That's alright. I think there are some cute guys too, but there's a certain girl I like a lot." He looked at me. "Anyways, is there a guy you like?"

I felt my face go a little red. "No. No guys in particular."

"Please tell me?" he asked. "I won't tell anyone, Avatar's promise." He gave me big puppy eyes.

"No."

"Fine."

I sighed. "Agni, give me strength," I muttered. "Look, I… I'm sorry about the past few months."

"It's alright. I forgive you."

We sat in silence for a moment, watching everyone. Aang got up.

"I'm going over to Katara."

I nodded wordlessly and he walked off. I placed a hand on my scar, feeling the rough scar. The mark of the banished prince. I shut my eyes.

_Wham!_ Something cold hit me in the side of the head. My eyes flew open and I stared around.

A group of kids were running around in the snow, throwing balls made up of it at one another. One called an apology over, then went back to playing.

I stood up and stretched, then walked over to the bison's head.

"Hello," I said. "Look, I'm sorry about everything I've done to you. All of you. Please, forgive me." I got down on my knees and bowed my head.

He licked my face. I smiled a little.

"Appa seems to like you," a voice behind me said.

I looked up at Sokka. "You think so?"

"Yeah. Hey, if Appa likes you, I can deal with you." He punched my arm. "Jerk."

"Idiot."

"Bully."

"Asshole," I said.

He shushed me. "You can't say that. There are kids here," he said.

"What's wrong with saying that in front of kids?"

"Katara made me promise not the swear in front of Aang, so you don't get to either."

"Damn. So we'd have to be alone together to swear?"

"Yeah. We'll have to go out sometime in the Earth Kingdom and say whatever we want. Do whatever we want."

_Fuck, is he asking me out?_ "Yeah. I'd like that," I said.

He chuckled. "Then that's what we'll do. We're going to go with some of the rest of the tribe while they head towards the South Pole, and we'll leave while passing the Earth Kingdom. Chief Arnook is going to stay here, but Pakku and some others are going."

"My uncle knows Pakku. They're part of some lame Pai Sho club, apparently."

"Your uncle plays Pai Sho?"

I groaned. "He makes me play with him and always makes the game drag on for _hours_. It's so annoying."

"I can play with him instead. Katara hates playing it too, but Gran Gran sometimes played it with me. I was pretty good at it."

"You and Uncle are going to get along well," I sighed

We sat in silence for a moment. He leaned against me.

"Hey, what do you think of the Blue Spirit?" he asked.

I looked at him. "What?"

"That vigilante that saved Aang."

"I know who he is. Well, I don't know who he is under the mask. No one does. But I do support some of the things he did."

"Like?"

"Saving your friend."

"He's pretty cool. He's really doing what I've wanted to do for a long time. Y'know, fighting the Fire Nation."

"Commiting crimes."

"Do you think he likes guys?"

"What, do you want to date him?"

"Possibly."

"He might."

He laughed. "Well, if you ever find out who he is, you mind getting us a date?"

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-_ "I can try."

"Great."


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Sokka go apple picking. Zuko has a talk with his uncle about his attraction to men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack

I ran as fast as I could back to the camp, holding the stolen goods I'd gotten. I tried to catch my breath.

"Hello?"

I jumped and turned around. Sokka.

"Woah. You're the Blue Spirit."

I nodded once. He walked over and sat beside me.

"Where'd you get that stuff?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but realized he'd recognize my voice. Shit.

"Can you not talk?"

I shook my head.

"Oh. Sorry. My name's Sokka."

I thought for a moment and grabbed his hand.  _ L-I-N-G _ . I spelled out on his palm.

"Hey, what if I go get some paper--"

I shook my head and grabbed a stick off the ground. I started writing on the ground.  _ "My name is Ling." _

"Which nation are you from?"

_ "Fire. My father is a firebender. He hurt me, and I decided to fight the Fire Nation. I don't like the war. It's caused me pain, just like you." _ Not a lie. Wow.

"Are you a firebender too?"

_ "Yes. But I'm not good at it. I'm afraid to do it, usually." _

"What did your dad do to you?"

_ "He burned me."  _ I paused, thinking about it, _ "Locked me in a room and set it on fire." _

His eyes widened. "You have scars?"

_ "A lot of them." _ I looked at him.  _ "You're pretty." _

"Thanks. I bet you are too, under that mask. Even with the scars."

_ "I don't like them. I'm afraid of myself. And fire." _

"I'm travelling with some firebenders. The older one is really nice, but the younger is… kind of a jerk." I clenched my jaw. He chuckled. "I like him though. He might be a jerk, but he can be pretty sweet. He helped us out a lot lately."

_ "Does he like you too? Do both of you like guys and each other?" _

"Nah. I don't think he's into dudes. Oh, he's going to be so shocked when I tell him about this. The things you do? Amazing. Like, you steal from rich people, help the poor, you saved my friend!"

I tilted my head a little in feigned curiosity.

"Oh, right. I'm friends with the Avatar."

I nodded.  _ "Where are you going now?" _

"We're headed to Omashu. Aang is going to learn earthbending."

I looked at the bag I'd used to store the things I'd stolen. After dropping the stick, I pushed the bag into his arms and ran off.

"Wait! Ling!"

I climbed up a tree and hid in the canopy. Carefully, I took the bright blue mask off. He looked around when he reached the tree I was in. He looked up.

"Ling? Are you up there?"

I didn't answer. He looked down at the bag I had given him. He turned and walked off. I climbed down, changed into my new Earth Kingdom clothing, hid the Blue Spirit clothing and mask, then walked back to the camp.

Sokka was sitting on his sleeping bag, looking through the bag I'd given him. I sat next to him and made a flame in my palm to give him some light.

"Where'd you get that stuff?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"Guess," he shot back, grinning widely.

"No idea."

"I met the Blue Spirit. His name is Ling. He's mute, and he seems like a super sweet guy. And he said that I'm  _ pretty _ ."

I smiled. "You said his name is Ling? Is he from the Earth Kingdom?"

"Dammit, I didn't ask… shit."

"You'll have to ask if you run into him again."

"Well, he said his dad is a firebender. That he trapped him in a room and set it on fire. He's not able to firebend though."

"I get what it's like. Being burnt. I feel really bad for him…" I took the bag and opened it, then looked inside. I'd stolen a bunch of things from well-off people that would fetch a hefty price, and sold them. I bought a bunch of food and better supplies. I'd given some to a few people I'd seen, but taken the rest back to the group.

"Woah. That's a lot of food."

"Looks like some rope, some clothes, a few tents, food, cooking utensils, and a tea set."

"I wonder why he got that."

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It's ours now. I'm sure Uncle will be glad to have the tea set. We'll make breakfast in the morning for everyone."

"Sounds good to me. You better go to sleep tonight."

I smiled a little. "Alright, fine."

* * * * *

"What are you making? It smells good," Aang said. He'd just sat up and was rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Sokka ran into the Blue Spirit last night. He gave us some food and ran off into the darkness."

"Sokka met the Blue Spirit?"

"His name is Ling. He's apparently a very sweet guy." I poked the flames with a stick. "His father hurt him badly. Apparently, Sokka met him out in the woods last night and he gave him a bunch of stuff."

"You didn't tell him?"

I shook my head. "I don't want him to know. Not yet. I know you know, obviously, and I think Katara figured it out. But I don't want anyone else to know yet."

"Okay. I get it."

"Tea?" I offered. I poured a cup for him.

He took a drink. He made a face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing."

I poured myself a cup and took a drink. I didn't quite understand why he looked disgusted.

"Morning, Aang," Sokka said, entering the campsite again. "You hungry?"

"A bit. What have you got?"

"Well, I went into the closest town and talked with a few people. There's an orchard and berry patch. You guys want to come get some with me?"

"I'll go with you," I said.

"Shouldn't we wait until these guys wake up?" Aang asked.

"We can, if you want," Sokka said. "Or you can stay here. Appa still is asleep, so we can't go anywhere."

Our friend laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll stay here. See you guys later."

I followed my friend through the woods and into town. He walked towards a little market stall where a dark-haired girl was sitting. When we approached, she spoke.

"Hello, welcome to Minoru's Apple Orchard, how can I help you?" she said in a monotone voice.

"My friend and I need to get some fruit. One of our friends is a vegetarian and our pets like fruit," Sokka said.

"It's one silver per person." She reached behind the stall and placed two sacks on the counter.

He placed two silver coins on the counter and took the bags. I took one bag, then we headed into the orchard.

It was peaceful inside. There were only a few people there, and the trees were filled with fruit.

"This place is beautiful," I said wistfully.

"Yeah."

I walked over to one of the apple trees and stood on tiptoe to try to pick one. My fingers grazed the fruit.

"Oh, fuck _ off _ ," I growled.

"You want me to pick you up, jerkbender?"

I glared at him. "I don't need you to pick me up."

"Alright, shorty."

"You're like, six centimeters taller than me, you dick."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"Kick you in the stomach and use you as a stepstool."

He laughed. "You don't need me to hold you, but do you want me to?"

_ Please hold me. _ "I want you to pick the fruit with me."

"Alright. We'll do that. We'll fill our bags quickly."

"Then head back to the gang?"

"I think you mean 'head back to the  _ Gaang _ .'"

I tilted my head quizzically.

"You know… like… gang… but also Aang."

I laughed. "Yeah. I get it." I punched his shoulder.

"Ow."

I started panicking in my head. "Sorry," I said. "I'm so sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. I was kidding. Come on."

We walked through the orchard, filling our bags with apples. It was serene. I felt happy.

When I started struggling to reach some of the fruit, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and lift me up. I could feel my face grow warmer. I picked the fruits.

_ Fuck, do I like this boy? _ I asked myself.  _ What am I going to tell Uncle? I can't just tell him I like guys. What if he gets angry? After what Great-grandfather did… _

"You okay? Your face is really red," Sokka said, cutting off my train of thoughts. He'd sat me down. 

"Oh, I'm great," I muttered.

"You want to head back?"

"I guess our bags are pretty full. We can. Uncle's probably made some tea. It's not my favorite thing, but it's pretty good. You'd like it."

He nodded. Linking our arms, we headed back to our campsite. By the time we got back, we were holding hands. He'd been cracking dumb jokes the whole time, but they were hilarious.

"You're back," Katara said.

"Yeah. We brought a lot of apples," I said.

"Here, Momo," Sokka said. The lemur ran over and grabbed an apple from his hand.

"Would you like some tea, nephew?" Uncle asked.

I sat down. "I'd love some."

"Sokka, how was your meeting with the Blue Spirit last night?"

"He's really cool."

"I see."

I handed my bag over to Aang. He took one and started eating it. I took a cup of tea. I took a sip.

"How was your date?" Katara asked.

I choked on my drink. "D-date? It wasn't a date."

"I didn't say 'date'. I said 'day'."

"We just were going apple picking. We had to get some fruit for the herbivores to eat."

I laughed. "Well, one of them is an omnivore, right, Momo?"

The lemur made a chattering sound. I threw an apple at Sokka. He caught it.

"Where are we headed now, Captain Boomerang?"

"Hey, you actually made a good joke," Katara said.

"Thanks. Where are we headed?"

"Omashu, remember?" Aang reminded me.

"How far is it?"

"About a day's journey. We've got to meet General Fong. He's going to escort us to the city."

"Sounds like a prick," I said, taking another sip. "Why not just go alone?"

"For protection. Your sister showing up will be really bad for us."

My heart sank at that reminder. This whole thing was dangerous. 

"It would be bad for everyone," Uncle said. "My niece is very powerful, and if she were to capture you, the war would be lost."

"She'll probably find us easily. She has an entire arsenal under her. All of us would be dead except for the Avatar. He would be captured and locked away." I sighed. "My sister will probably have some "fun" with us first." I subconsciously traced my index over my scar. The last time I'd seen her, she'd threatened to give me another one.

"Did she give you that scar?" Sokka asked.

"No," I said. I lowered my hand. "Come on. Let's clean this up and get out of here."

We got our things together. I slipped off to get my mask and clothing. I hid them in the bottom of my bag. We headed off.

The trip was pretty quiet. We didn't say much. The earth below sped by.

I wanted to tell Uncle about it. Part of me thought that he'd be supportive, but another part of me thought he wouldn't. I was too conflicted over it. I was considering asking Aang for his help. 

_ After all, he's a monk! He has to know something… right? Agni, I don't know what a monk does, do I? _

_ I'm not going to talk about it yet. I'm not ready. _

I looked out at the clouds. They were nice. Fluffy. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift off to sleep for the first time in a while.

* * * * *

"Zuko. Wake up. We're here."

I groaned a little. I was curled up on the saddle with my head and arm hanging off. There was an animal pelt wrapped around my shoulders.

"Morning, Princey," Sokka said. 

"How long was I asleep?" I muttered. 

"A couple hours. I tried to make you comfortable, but I didn't want to wake you up. You always seem to be awake and I thought you'd need some rest."

After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I got up and stretched. He ruffled my hair.

"You ready to meet this guy?"

"Not at all. Let's do it."

He laced his fingers with mine and led everyone toward the men that all wore uniforms of Earth Kingdom soldiers. I squeezed his hand. My previous run-ins with Earth Kingdom soldiers weren't… pleasant. Aang stepped forward.

"Hi there."

"Hello, Avatar," the man at the front of the group said. "I'm General Fong. It's an honor to meet you."

"Yeah, like he'd know anything about honor," I whispered.

Sokka smirked. "Yeah, I bet you have more honor than he ever could."

"This is Katara and her brother, Sokka. The other two are Lee and his uncle, Mushi."

"What kind of name is that?" Sokka whispered.

"I have no idea."

"We'll, it's probably the most normal name Aang can come up with. When we were in Omashu, he told them his name was Bonzu Pippinpaddleopsicopolis the Third."

I laughed. "Pippin…Pippinpaddleopsi... Pippinpaddleopsicopolis?" I asked, trying to keep quiet. I was wheezing.

Fong raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

"I have no idea," Katara said. "They have a weird sense of humor."

"Sorry," I said.

"We're just making jokes. Lee here doesn't get to be a happy person often," Sokka said. He let go of my hand so he could put his arm over my shoulders. "I'm just trying to get him to loosen up."

"I am a happy person."

"Not yet. But now that you're a part of the team, you have to deal with me and these guys.  _ And _ you have to get a sense of humor."

"I have a sense of humor," I said, crossing my arms.

I noticed that Fong was talking with Aang, Katara, and Uncle while the two of us were bickering.

"Still. You can be happier."

"I could be." I moved my face closer to his.

"Hey! Are you two coming or not?" someone called, snapping me back into reality.

We followed them inside. We went into a large room, where Fong took a seat. It was a war room. Panic overwhelmed me suddenly. After what happened last time I was in one of these…

_ No. This isn't like last time. This isn't Father. You know that. _

Despite knowing this, I grabbed my friend's hand right. I didn't say a word. The fear of something like that happening again…

I ended up zoning out through most of the meeting. When people started arguing, I moved closer to my uncle.

"It's alright, nephew," he said in a soft voice. "Would you like to step outside with me?"

I nodded. He excused us and took me outside. I sat on the ground.

"Would you like me to sit with you?"

I nodded once. He sat beside me.

"Do you want to talk?"

I shook my head.

"I don't believe that you being in places like that is the best for you."

I nodded in agreement. I leaned against him. He placed an arm over my shoulder. When I was overwhelmed, I liked to have affection. A hug, a warm cup of tea, a gentle talk. Speaking could be hard for me when I got like this.

We sat in silence for a moment. I began to relax.

"Thank you," I said. My voice was a bit rough.

He chuckled. "Of course."

"Uncle? If I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad?"

"I won't get mad at you."

"Swear it."

"I swear it."

"I… I think that I like guys. Like…  _ like _ them. I'm not attracted to girls the same way. I really like a certain guy in particular."

"I know that you're gay, nephew."

I looked up. "How?"

"Well, there are some particular things you've done. Particularly when we were still on that ship. And I think that you and that Water Tribe boy could work well together, if that's what you want."

"You really think so?"

"Well, he seems to like men as well. And women."

"Fuck, that's like, all the people. How can I compete with that?"

Uncle laughed. "I think that you can do it."

"You really think so?" I asked.

"Would you like to talk to him about it?"

"Not yet. But I do want to talk about it soon."

The doors swung open a bit later. Everyone else was on their way out.

"You okay, Zu… Lee?" Sokka asked.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Just some bad memories. Our family was very argumentative, and the shouting wasn't doing well for me."

"We're going to have dinner and get to bed," Katara said. "You can come if you want."

"Sure," I said. I stood up, then helped Uncle up. "Let's go."

* * * * *

I pulled my friend out of the way once Aang's tattoos and eyes started glowing. My uncle was already out of the way. Sokka tried to go back out. I grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing?" I demanded. "You can't go out there, you'll be killed."

"I have to save my sister."

"She'll be fine."

"How would you know?"

"Just trust me."

"How could I trust you?" he snapped.

I took a step back. "Wh-what?"

Realization dawned on his face. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

"You don't trust me? Is it because I'm a firebender? Or because of my father?"

"No, that's--"

"I've been trying to be good. I want to help you stop my father, I want to defeat him and fix my family's mistakes. Agni damn me, I hate this!" I sat on the ground and hugged myself tight.

The fighting outside didn't die down. In fact, it got worse. A large disc of rock flew through the wall not too far from me. I flinched hard at the noise.

"Zuko, I don't think you're a bad person. I was just annoyed that you didn't seem to care about my sister's life."

"It's not that I don't care about her. It's just that I know people like him. He's powerful and all, but he's just acting. I'm just… I know that Aang can get her out of there. And she'll get him out of the Avatar State. Trust me."

He smiled. "I trust you."

I got up and helped him up. "Let's go help our friends."

We ran out into the fight. He threw his boomerang at someone, and I threw a fireball at someone else and ducked under the boomerang when it flew back. 

"Firebender!" someone shouted.

A larger blast of fire shot by us.

"Uncle!" I shouted. "We're over here!"

The wind around us picked up. We joined up with my uncle again. I saw Fong nearby.

"Hey, you dick! Give us back my sister!" Sokka shouted.

"She's fine! Look!"

He lifted a hand. Katara raised out of the ground. I ran over to help her up.

"Katara, we need you to help get Aang out of the Avatar state. And then we need to go."

She nodded and walked towards where Aang was. She managed to get him out of the Avatar state, and we ran. We managed to make it back to Appa easily.

I sat at the reigns and flicked them. "Appa, yip yip!" I shouted once we were all on. We took off.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang goes into the cave of two lovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i assume y’all started reading this for what happens in this chapter. 
> 
> TW: mentions of abuse

"Are you two going to be done soon? We have a lot of ground to cover."

"Like you're ready to go right now, naked guy."

I looked at the Water Tribe siblings. Katara was showing Aang some waterbending forms. Sokka was floating along the water on a leaf. I was sitting on a rock with my feet in the water. Uncle was nearby.

"Zuko, are you going to get in the water or not?" Aang asked.

"We need to get back on the way," I said.

"We have time."

"No, we really don't have much time."

"You can live with getting in the water," Katara said.

I sighed. "I'm not getting into the water."

Sokka lifted his hair from his eyes and looked at me. "You don't have to." He looked at his sister. "Katara, I can be ready in two minutes." 

"So, you were showing me the octopus form?" Aang said.

I ignored what they said from there on. I looked up when I heard someone singing. They were approaching us. I got up and got my swords.

" _ Don't fall in love with a travelling girl, she'll leave you broke and brokenhearted _ ," the voice sang. A group of people came down the path. I heard Sokka fall into the water. The man in the front stopped and waved at us. "Hey, river people!"

"We aren't river people," Katara said, sounding puzzled.

"You're not? Then what kind of people are you?"

"We're just… people," Aang said.

"Aren't we all, brother."

"Who are you?" I demanded. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm Chong, this is my wife, Lily. We're nomads, going wherever the wind takes us."

"Really? I'm a nomad too!"

"No way! So are we!"

I rolled my eyes. "Spirits give me strength," I muttered.

The man looked at Sokka. "Nice underwear."

My friend looked embarrassed and left. I went after him. He was pulling on his shirt when I found him.

"Sokka," I said.

He turned around. "Who are those people?"

"I don't know. I don't like them."

"Me either. Let's get Katara and Aang and leave."

I nodded. "Hey, can I talk to you about something?"

"In a bit."

"Okay…"

We walked back to where our friends were. They were sitting next to Appa. The woman was putting flowers in Katara's hair, and Aang had a flower crown on.

Aang spoke first when he saw us. "These guys have been everywhere! You should hear their stories!"

Chong laughed. "Not everywhere, Little Arrowhead. But the places we haven't been, we've heard stories about."

"They said we'll go to see a giant nightcrawler!"

The other man was laying on the ground. "And there's a waterfall that makes a huge rainbow! It just never ends!"

"Listen, we need to go to Omashu. No detours. If we don't get there, the world will literally end," I said.

"Nephew, you have to relax," Uncle said.

"I am relaxed!"

"No, he's right," Sokka said. "Aang can't even earthbend yet."

"Sounds like someone's got a case of destination fever," Chong said.

"You have to focus less on the where and more on the going," Lily said.

"O. Ma. Shu," Sokka said.

Katara looked at the nomads. "They're right. We have to find King Bumi so Aang can learn earthbending."

"Sounds like you're headed to Omashu," Chong said.

Sokka slapped his forehead. I growled.

"There's an old legend about a tunnel through the mountain."

Uncle chuckled. "Ah, yes. I remember this one."

"Is this real, or is it a legend?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, it's a real legend," Chong said. "And it's as old as earthbending itself." He started strumming his instrument. " _ Two lovers, forbidden from one another, the war divides their people and the mountain divides them apart! Built a path to be together! _ " He stopped. "Yeah, I forget the next couple of lines, but then it goes-" he started singing again " _ -Secret tunnel! Secret tunnel! Through the mountains, secret, secret, secret, secret tunnel!  _ Yeah!"

"We'll just stick with flying. We've dealt with the Fire Nation before," Sokka said.

"Yeah, thanks for the help, but Appa hates going underground. And we need to do whatever makes Appa most comfortable," Aang said.

We packed up and got ready to go. We ended up being attacked very badly. We returned to the river within fifteen minutes.

"Secret love cave it is," Sokka said.

The nomads walked towards the tunnel. We followed them. The walk was long. It was hot out. And when I say hot, I don't mean like a dry heat. It was a wet heat. I think it was called humidity or something.

"How far is this tunnel?" I asked.

"Oh, it's not just one tunnel. It's a whole labyrinth," he said.

"A  _ labyrinth _ ?" Sokka asked.

"You just have to trust in love, according to the curse," Lily said.

"There's a curse?"

"Hey! We're here!" Chong said, ignoring my question.

I looked at the dark cave entrance.

"What exactly is the curse?" Sokka asked.

"The legend says that you have to trust in love. If not, you'll be trapped in the caves forever and die," Uncle explained.

Chong's face lit up. "Hey, I just remembered the rest of the song!  _ And die! _ "

"Yeah, we're not going through the cursed hole," Sokka said.

The other man, whom I still didn't know the name of, pointed at the sky. "Look, someone's making a campfire!"

I looked. My heart sank.

"That's no campfire, Moku," Uncle said.

"That's the Fire Nation."

"All we have to do is trust in love?" Aang asked.

"That's right, Little Arrowhead," Chong said.

Aang looked at Katara. "We can make it," he said.

"Ugh, fine. Into the cursed hole," Sokka said.

We piled in. The man in charge- whom I'd never met before- commanded them to block us in. Appa started to freak out. I went to try to help him calm down.

"How do those torches last?" Sokka asked.

"Two hours each."

Lily lit all the torches. "That means that with all of them, they'll last ten hours!"

Sokka grabbed them and put them out. "It doesn't work, you idiot! I'm going to make a map."

Sokka ended up talking us to several dead ends, to all of our annoyance. We got attacked by some wolfbats and separated- me, Sokka, and the nomads on one side, and Aang, Katara, and Appa on the other. Momo and Uncle were with us.

"No, no, no! Shit!" Sokka said. He tried to tunnel through it.

I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey. We'll make it."

"I don't want to be stuck with  _ them _ ," he said. He glared at the nomads.

"I know. But at least I'm here. We can figure out how to get away from them. In fact, I've got an idea."

I took his hand and started walking. At the next fork, I went down the right path and shot a flame at the wall, causing rocks to fall and separate us from the nomads.

"Uncle?"

No response.

"Shit. I think I blocked him in with those people."

I lit a fire in my palm.

Our faces were centimeters apart. I jumped back a little.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"What are you sorry for? That was amazing!" he said. "You  _ have _ to show me that."

"It's a firebending move. You're not a firebender."

"Whatever. But it was still so cool."

I smiled. "Thanks. I've never actually done that before."

"I wonder how Katara and Aang are doing."

"Don't know. Right now, it's just us."

He chuckled. "Us against the cursed love hole. Man, Aang really believes in this whole 'let love lead the way' thing."

"I don't. I mean, who would love someone like me?" I scoffed. "A dishonored Fire Nation prince. The great-grandson of the man who started this war."

"Hey, I'm sure you'll find some girl who'll date you."

I blinked. "Sokka, I'm gay," I said blankly.

"Oh."

"And yes, there is a boy that I like."

"Who?"

_ Fuck. What am I supposed to tell him? _ "We'll play a guessing game while we walk."

"Sure."

The two of us started walking down the tunnel. We used my fire as our only source of light. It was kinda reddish, kinda orangeish. Sokka was deep in thought.

"Twenty questions," I said. "They have to be 'yes' or 'no'."

"Does he know you exist?"

"Yes."

"That's a start. Have you told him that you like him?"

"No."

"Hm…"

I climbed down a little ledge and helped him down.

"Have I met him?"

"Yes."

"Is he from the Earth Kingdom?"

"No. Water Tribe."

"Water Tribe… Northern?"

"Southern."

"Is he older than you?"

"I don't think so. How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"He's younger than me."

"That's weird. The only guy from the Southern Tribe that's younger than you and not a toddler is…"

I looked at him. My heart skipped a beat. The way the light flickered against his dark skin, his eyes reflecting the orange flames. It was like I could see the whole world in them. The fire flickered for a second in my palm, but went back to its burning away after a second. "Is?"

"Me. Is it me that you like?"

I hesitated. I nodded once.

He smiled. "Well, lucky for you, Mister Banished Prince, there is a guy I know who likes you."

"Who?"

"Your turn to guess." He smiled smugly. Agni, I wanted to punch him. Lovingly.

"You like me too?" I said, hopeful for the first time in years.

He grinned. "Yeah."

_ I want to kiss you. _ "Good."

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about earlier?"

"Yeah."

We walked in silence for a moment.

_ Wow. I'm… he really does like me, _ I thought.

_ No. He's lying. He pities you,  _ one voice said.

_ No, he isn't. He wouldn't lie about this. He told me that he liked me when I was in disguise. _

__ "What happens if my sister finds us?" I asked.

"Wow, way to kill the mood."

"Sorry."

"No, I was kidding. I'm not sure what will happen."

"If she does find us, she'll recognize me."

"We can pretend you're just some Earth Kingdom kid we took in and I started dating."

"Are you sure?"

"You look like a kid from the Earth Kingdom. We can just say that a firebender burned your face off."

"What about my eyes?"

"We'll just say that someone in your family was from the Fire Nation and you inherited your eyes from them."

"I guess I can still go by the name Lee. It's a nice name."

"I agree. I can date a guy named Lee in public, and date you in secret. It's perfect."

I looked at the fire in my palm. It was slowly turning to a more yellowish color.

"Yeah… perfect…"

"You okay?"

"I don't know. I'm just… it's hard to explain."

"Why don't we play some games while we walk?"

"Like what?"

"We can make up poetry."

"You're a poet?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

He smirked. "Yeah."

"Really? Then make up a haiku. Right here, right now."

"Uh…  _ Those beautiful eyes/Like a bright fire or gold/They light up my world _ ."

"Not bad."

"Thanks. It's your turn, Princey."

I rolled my eyes. I really hated the nickname, but I didn't want to tell him that.

I thought for a moment. Back when I was in school, we'd been made to make them. I had to write poetry for some classes and read them aloud. I had loved writing poetry and drawing as a kid, but my father had tried to stamp out my love for that just like everything else.

" _ The past locks me in/Deep darkness surrounding me/Blocking out all love." _

"We clearly have different things going through our minds."

I shrugged. "Maybe. I'm dwelling on the past. Mulling over stuff. Knowing I've got friends, knowing that I'm not alone anymore…"

"Yeah, it feels nice."

"What is your father like?" I looked at him.

"He's amazing. He's really nice. I've looked up to him my whole life. His name is Hakoda. You would really like him."

"Would he like me?"

"He would, after I explained everything. When you were still hunting us down, we had run into one of his friends. Bato probably told him about you."

The fire flickered again. I concentrated on making it larger. Brighter. Hotter.

"I guess you already know what my father is like."

"Kind of. Do you mind telling me more about your home life?"

_ How much do you want to know? _ "My mother was very nice, so was my cousin. My sister is a prodigy and my father is… you know. You've met my uncle. My mother killed my grandfather to save me."

"Your grandfather tried to  _ kill _ you?"

"After my cousin died, my father asked to be the Firelord. My uncle is the elder of the two. To teach my father how it feels to lose his firstborn son, my grandfather was going to kill me. My mother poisoned him, and she was killed because of it."

"Your mother gave her life to save you."

"I feel like I've disappointed her. She gave her life so I could become the Firelord, and I have no chance at it." I stopped walking. "I've really screwed everything up."

"I don't think you've screwed everything up."

Sighing, I sat down on a rock that was coming out of the wall. The surface was strangely smooth.

Something about the place made me want to lay down and fall asleep. Let the darkness consume me, let it envelop me and hold me down in this dark cave forever.

Sokka sat beside me. I leaned against him. My eyelids started to droop. My fire started to fade a little, but I wasn't sure if it was my eyes closing or the flame dying out.

"Zuko. The light."

I snapped my eyes open. The flame in my palm disappeared.

"Sorry," I said. I tried to focus on making a new one.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologise."

I made a small grunt. Maybe he thought it was okay, but I didn't.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?"

I lost focus on my firebending.  _ Holy shit. Did he just ask if he can kiss me? _

"What?" I looked at him. My eyes were beginning to adjust to the darkness.

"You can say no. After all, we did just start dating a couple minutes ago-"

"Please kiss me." My tone was almost begging.

A cool hand touched my scar. Soft fingers traced their way down to my chin and lifted it. Lips touched mine. My eyes fluttered shut.

The feeling was… amazing. I could hardly comprehend how it felt. I pushed my lips against his. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I could feel my inner flame burning brighter than ever. I felt as if I could do anything. 

We eventually pulled apart, but continued to hold onto each other. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against his. I could feel his breath and the rise and fall of his chest. The embrace I was held in was comforting. It made me happier than I'd felt in a long time.

"Wow…" I murmured.

"First time?"

"Yeah." I pulled my face away from his and made a small flame in my palm. It was pale yellow, almost white. 

"That fire's pretty hot."

"So are you," I said.

He laughed.

"Did I say that out loud? Shit, I'm so sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. It's cute."

"I'm not cute."

He tapped the tip of my nose with his index finger. I laughed and pushed his hand away. "You're the cutest boy I've ever met."

"I'm not cute."

"You're an adorable, sweet baby."

I made a face. "Dick."

"You love me."

The ground began shaking below us. The walls began shaking around us. I grabbed his arm tightly. The happy feeling I had instantly dissipated.

"What's happening?" I asked. I could feel my voice shaking. 

"I don't know."

He stood up and took out his boomerang. I placed a hand on my swords. The fire in my hand grew larger to light up the cave more.

The wall of the cave in front of us fell. Several badgermoles stepped through. I pushed up against the opposite wall.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head. In an attempt to calm myself, I started humming softly. It was something I'd learned as a child from my mother. When I got freaked out as a kid, she would sing songs for me.

I could feel myself begin to relax. I let go of his arm.

"Zuko, look," Sokka said. I looked up.

The badgermoles were looking at me.

"I think they liked your humming. Can you sing?"

I nodded cautiously. "Not well, but my uncle used to hold music nights on the ship. He convinced me to sing a few times."

"Sing."

I took a deep breath and started singing. My voice was shaky. The creatures stared at me. One of them stepped closer and nudged its head against me.

"Aw, they like you!"

"They're soft." I placed a hand on its head.

His face lit up. He'd had an idea. "Badgermoles are earthbenders. Zuko, we can use them to get out of here!"

The one in front of me nudged its head against me. I lifted my hand so I didn't accidentally burn it. 

"We'll have to go back and get my uncle. There are three of them, we'll take them to go find Uncle… and the nomads too. Agni, I don't want to deal with them again."

"I don't either. But we'll have to, right?"

"Do you think Aang and Katara can get out on their own?"

"Probably."

I smiled a little. We climbed into the back of the badgermoles.

"What do we do to make them move?" I asked.

"Uh… yip yip?"

I laughed. To my surprise, the creatures actually started going. It was almost like they knew where we wanted to go. When we got to the other part of the cave, we saw the nomads and Uncle nearby.

"Hello!" Sokka said. He waved at them.

"Ah, there you two are. We've been waiting for you," Uncle said.

Everyone got onto the badgermoles.

"Back to the surface we go!" Sokka said. "Yip yip!"

The creatures started moving again. It took very little time to get to the surface. Aang and Katara had seemingly just walked out of the cave.

"Katara! Aang! Looks like you guys got out!" Sokka said. He jumped down.

"We let love lead the way," Aang said.

"Really? We let giant badgermoles lead the way."

I reached down, silently asking for his help in getting down. He caught me and sat me on the ground beside him. Aang went to go make sure Appa and Momo were alright.

"Did you guys have fun?" Katara asked.

"We got separated. Zuko and I talked a lot. Made up poetry. What about you two?"

"We found the tomb of the lovers. Learned some stuff about them."

I leaned against my boyfriend a little. "We became lovers," I whispered to him.

"We decided that in case we ran into his sister, we'd pretend he was a boy we met. His name is Lee."

"Wouldn't she recognise the scar?"

"I'll say that he's a refugee and got burnt by a firebender."

"Alright. What about his uncle?"

"We'll figure it out."

I shook my head and looked away. I could see a city not too far away. The only issue was…

There was a huge Fire Nation banner hanging on the wall.

"Uh… guys?" I said.

"What is it?" Aang asked. 

I pointed toward the city. "That wouldn't be Omashu by any chance, would it?"

The Avatar walked over and looked at the city. Shock fell over his face. 

"Omashu."

"The Fire Nation took over Omashu," I said.

"What?" Sokka asked. He looked at us.

I repeated myself. Uncle, Katara, and Sokka walked over to see. I saw shock fall over their faces.

"Aang. We can't go there."

"I have to help my friend. Bumi is in there."

"Ah, you know Bumi as well?" Uncle asked.

"He was one of my best friends as a kid."

I sighed. "Uncle, is this guy part of your weird Pai Sho club too?"

"Yes, he is."

"Agni, how many people are there?"

"There are several of us in it. You've actually met some of them."

"We'll go get Bumi and get out of there," Sokka said. "Alright?"

Aang nodded. "Let's go save my friend."

"And pray that Mai's family isn't the one in charge here now," I muttered.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang goes to Omashu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: minor panic attack, injury/blood, talk of underage drinking (let me know if there are others I should add)

"How are we getting in?" I asked, looking at the walls. The four of us were huddled by the shrubs. We'd decided unanimously that Uncle should stay behind for this.

"There's a secret passage."

I growled in annoyance. "Not another secret passage."

We approached the wall cautiously. Aang stopped beside an opening.

"Aang, why didn't we use this last time?" Sokka asked.

The Avatar pulled the passage open. Sewage.

"Oh. That explains it."

"Come on."

Aang climbed into the hole and airbended the sewage away from his face. Katara waterbended it away. I gagged.

"Agni, are they not going to help us?"

"I don't think so."

I sighed. "If I could scale the wall without being caught, I would. And I'd take you."

"Can't you firebend it away?"

"No. It would smell awful. Let's just do this."

We went through the sewers to get into the city.

"That wasn't so bad," Katara said.

"Yeah, thanks. Can you guys bend this shi-" I stopped when Katara looked at me warningly " _ -stuff _ off of us?" I asked.

The two of them made the same motion with their hands. The gunk flew off my body. I shuddered. Sokka let out a shout. Aang shushed him.

"Sokka, we're trying not to be caught," Aang said.

My boyfriend had little pentapi stuck on him. I went to help get them off.

"They're cute," I said. 

"Hey! What are you kids doing out past curfew?" a voice behind me shouted. 

My blood ran cold. Firebenders. I turned around to face them.

Katara spoke up. "I'm sorry. We were on our way home."

I kept my back to them. If they recognized me, I'd be turned in to my sister and killed. I walked away from them. I held tight onto Sokka's arm. 

"What's wrong with him?" one of the guards asked.

I turned my head to look at them through my right eye. "Who?"

The guard grabbed Sokka by the back of the shirt and pulled him away. I spun around to face them.

"He has pentapox, sir," Katara said. "It's highly contagious."

"Ughh, I'm dying," Sokka groaned.

"And deadly."

The man let go of him. I grabbed his arm tightly. He dramatically draped himself over me.

"What happened to that one? Get in a fight with a firebender?"

I glared at him. "So what if I did?"

The guard made a sizable fire in his hand. "Talk back to me again and I'll give you another one."

The surge of confidence I'd had disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. Katara led us away from the guards. I could hear them making snide remarks and jeering at me. 

"You're a pretty good actor," Aang said.

"Thank you. I try very hard."

"We should find somewhere to hide out."

"Yeah, for now."

I noticed some people walking down below us. A man was standing above us with a large boulder.

"Oh, spirits."

Katara looked at me. "What?"

"Aang, airbend that boulder away from those people. I'll get them out of the way just in case."

Aang looked up to see the boulder. He nodded. 

"Sokka, Katara, come with me."

The siblings followed me down the path. I ran over to the family. Sokka and Katara stayed close behind.

"Excuse me, miss?" I said.

The girl turned around to face me. Mai.

"Who do you think you are?" she asked, completely blank faced. 

"M-my name is Lee. I mean… No, that's not what's important! There's a man up there! You have to get out of the way!"

"Where?"

I pointed up at the man. One of the guards looked up to see.

"He's not lying," he said.

She sighed and moved out of the way. The boulder flew nearby, but didn't hit us.

"You seem very familiar, Lee."

_ Fuck _ . "Well, I've been living here for a little while. Anyways, um… I'm going to go. Bye."

I walked over to my friends. Aang stopped next to them. A knife shot past my head, nicking my left ear. I shouted in surprise.

"Run!" Aang shouted.

We started to run. I heard more knives flying past me.

The ground flew open below us. We fell straight down. I grabbed my boyfriend tightly and closed my eyes. Aang must've airbended a cushion below us, because we didn't hit the ground hard.

"What were you thinking, going up to that Fire Nation girl?" a voice said. "If we'd killed her-"

"You can't just kill her," Aang said. "She's a person too. More importantly, who are you guys?"

"We're the resistance. And we're trying to drive the Fire Nation out of our city."

I opened my eyes a little. There were at least fifty men, all of them presumably earthbenders.

"You can't just kill Mai," I said. "She's a good person."

"She's a firebender," one of them said.

"First of all, she isn't a firebender. Second, you can't just say someone's bad because they're a firebender!"

"You're really one to talk, kid. Look at your face."

I stood up. "Will everyone stop pointing out my scar?" I snapped. "Yes, I got into a fight with a firebending master, but I don't need everyone mentioning it at every turn! I  _ know _ that it's there! It's on  _ my _ fucking face!"

"Zuko, don't swear in front of Aang!" Katara said sternly.

I ignored her. I was angry. I could feel energy coursing down my arms and into my palms. I wasn't angry enough to hurt someone- I couldn't just hurt some random person anyways- but I was angry enough to make it hard for me to focus and I could feel fire wanting to burst from my hands. I had to hold it back.

"Just because someone is from the Fire Nation doesn't mean they're bad. My uncle is from the Fire Nation, and he's the best person in existence." I glanced at my friends. "Don't tell him I said that." I turned back to the earthbenders and continued:

"It's the same with everyone else. We aren't bad because of where we're from! We just don't understand! I grew up being fed propaganda and learning that the war was  _ good! _ I only realized it was bad recently! And I'm trying to be a better person, I really am…"

"You're a firebender," one of them said.

"Yeah, no shit! I'm a firebender! There, you caught me! I'm the kid who was dishonored and banished from my home to look for someone who's been gone for a century! Surprise! What are you going to do? Give me back to my father? I'm a fugitive to them and my sister is probably looking for me to kill me!" The fire burst from my palms. I balled them into fists to try to extinguish the fire.

A soft hand touched my shoulder. My anger started to melt away. "Zuko, it's okay. They're not going to give you back to your father and sister."

"It's not okay," I said. He put his arms around me. I turned around in my boyfriend's embrace. "I shouldn't have gotten like that. I know we're supposed to be hiding who I am."

"You don't have to hide if you don't want to."

"I know."

"Do you want to sit down?"

I nodded. We sat down by the wall. I laid my head on his lap. I could hear Aang and Katara trying to explain what I'd just said to the earthbenders, and apparently, they'd had luck since I wasn't dead. 

Once I was calm again, we rejoined our friends.

"I'm sorry for acting like that. I get angry very easily and shout at people. Please forgive me."

"How do you know the governor's daughter?" one of the men asked me.

"She's my sister's friend. Well. Playmate. I knew her. She came to the palace pretty often. She's an only child, and-"

"She's not an only child," the man said, cutting me off. "She has a two-year-old brother."

"Well, I was in the Fire Nation three years ago. I didn't know she had a brother. Anyways, she was learning to fight with knives when I knew her. I guess she's really good at using…" Horror sunk in and I stopped speaking. "We need to get out of here."

"That's the plan," Katara said.

"No. We need to go  _ now _ . Azula is going to be coming here, she's looking for us. She's going to recruit help. She's going to come here to recruit Mai to help her. She's going to find us."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"How are we getting out?" another person asked.

Sokka snapped his fingers. "I've got it. Pentapi. We'll use them to make it look like we have pentapox. We just have to pretend to be sick."

"But what about Bumi?" Aang asked. "We have to help him."

"Aang, please. We can't stay here."

"I need to find my friend."

I sighed. "We'll get out of the city. You go look for your friend."

To my surprise, Katara agreed with me. We ended up sleeping in the underground tunnels overnight. In the morning, we went out to get some pentapi for Sokka's plan. 

The mob of earthbenders and my friends reached the gates after a few minutes. The guards pulled the gates open. We went through. We kept up the act for a few minutes.

Once we'd gotten far enough away, we set up camp to wait for Aang to get back.

"I've just done a headcount," the man in charge, Yung, told us, "and there's a bit of an issue."

"Did we leave someone behind?" Katara asked.

"Actually, we gained two people. The governor's son." He pointed at the toddler that was playing with Momo. 

He was cute, yes, but the fact that we'd accidentally taken him was scary. It was scary because I knew we'd have to take him home. Either that, or the guards would come to find us and take him home.

"Well, isn't that swell?" I muttered.

"Who else did we gain?" Sokka asked.

Yung pointed at my Uncle. He was talking with some of the earthbenders.

"Oh, yeah. He's with us."

"How many firebenders are you travelling with?" Yung asked.

"Just me and my uncle," I said. 

He nodded. "What are we going to do with the boy? Hold him for ransom?"

"We'll trade him for Bumi," Sokka said. "We've got their son, they've got our friend. It's perfect."

I heard something running toward us. It stopped somewhere behind me. Aang was back.

"What's perfect?" he asked.

"We're going to trade that baby for your friend."

Aang nodded. "Okay. How are we going to tell them that?"

"Messenger Hawk?" I suggested. 

"I don't think we have one of those," Aang said.

"We can get one. I know how."

I cracked my knuckles and stood up. I walked over towards the nearby cliffs.

"I need an earthbender to come with me."

"I'll go," someone said. It was a girl around my age. She had a brown bob and her face was covered in freckles. Her voice had a weird twangy drawl to it. She walked over and stood beside me.

"Yasu, he wasn't suggesting for you to go."

"Why not? I can fend for myself. I'm strong enough to make a platform up and down."

"You're not scared that I'll attack you?" I said sarcastically. Man, I'd really picked up quite a bit from Sokka.

"Nah. Don't fear death. Don't think you'd kill me. Bye, fellas, we'll be back soon!"

Before anyone could stop her, she took a stance and moved her arms. The two of us shot up the cliff quickly. I watched as my friends became little pinpricks below us. 

"How are you gonna get us a Messenger Hawk?" she asked.

"I know how to call them. It won't be difficult."

"Good. You're the Fire Prince, ain't you?"

"Yeah. I am."

We reached the top of the cliff.

"I'm going to Ba Sing Se if we can't get Omashu back. It's the last Earth Kingdom stronghold."

"You aren't going to fight in the war?"

"Can't. Not a strong bender. You gonna call us the Messenger Hawk?"

I nodded and walked towards the edge of the cliff. It was overlooking the city. I made a specific whistle, one that I'd learned in childhood. I hoped it would carry far enough for one of the birds to hear.

"Shit, I need paper," I said.

"Uh…" Yasu started siffling through her bag. She shook her head. "Don't have any. I'll head down real quick and get some." She walked back to the edge and earthbended herself down. 

It was peaceful, to my surprise. I didn't think it would be, especially considering the circumstances. The sun was beaming down on me. The warmth of it felt comforting.

I heard a screeching noise and opened my eyes. A Messenger Hawk swooped down. I held out my arm without thinking. The bird dug its talons into my arm.

"Ow, ow, ow, fuck," I whimpered through grated teeth.

"You need something to hold it on?" Yasu asked from behind me.

She walked over and attacked a piece of leather to my arm. I shifted the bird onto the leather. My arm was bleeding a bit.

"You okay?" she asked.

I nodded. "I'll manage. Can you write it for me?" I asked.

She sat on her knees and took out the paper and pen. She made herself some ink. "Tell me what to say."

I hesitated. "Governor Ukano, we have your son. We will give him back to you in return for King Bumi. The meeting will be in Omashu at noon. Signed, the Omashu Resistance." Naming things was  _ not _ something I'd picked up from Sokka.

She wrote it down and rolled it up. She tied a little green ribbon around it and I put it into the pouch.

"Go on," I said. "Bring that to Ukano."

The bird spread its wings and took off back towards the city. I took the leather off my arm and put it around the arm that was oozing out blood in an attempt to keep some of it in.

"Well, I guess that's that. Hopefully, he'll accept."

Yasu walked over to the edge of the cliff again. She bended a platform for us and we shot down. I handed her the piece of leather. She took it and walked towards some of her friends. I returned to mine.

"Katara, he's bleeding," Sokka said.

He sat me down next to the fire and held out my arm. She bended the water around my arm. The water glowed and she pulled it off.

"You okay, Zuko?" Aang asked.

"Yeah. The hawk hand landed on my arm and I didn't have anything on it. And the letter was sent. The meeting is at noon."

"Okay. Aang, Sokka, and I will go back to the city at noon with Tom-Tom," Katara said.

"What about me?" I asked.

"You're staying here," she said. 

"But I-"

"We only need three people."

"It's safer if you stay here," Sokka said.

I sighed in defeat. I didn't have the energy to argue. It was futile- after all, they all wanted me gone.

_ They don't want you gone. They're just trying to keep you safe. _

_ I don't need to be kept safe! I'm fine on my own! _

_ How are you going to fight off Azula if you're alone? She's stronger than you could ever be. You'll never be able to beat her alone. _

_ I can learn to fight her. I just need time. _

_ Time? We don't have time. We have to defeat Father before Sozin's Comet returns. _

__ I got up and walked away from my friends. I walked away from the camp. I wanted time alone. Once I was out of sight, I ran. I ran as far as I could.

I got pretty far from the camp by the time I stopped. My legs ached, my feet hurt, and I felt like I was being stabbed through my ribs. I sat down on the ground and tried to steady my breathing.

_ I have to learn firebending. I  _ have _ to teach Aang. That's why I did this. So that I could get my honor back by teaching him. _

Once I caught my breath, I took a stance. The energy inside me formed itself into a flame. I jumped into the air and kicked out. Fire burst from my foot. I snuffed out the flame upon landing.

I ran forward and tried to perform a front flip. I managed to do so, but I failed at creating any fire simultaneously and sticking the landing. I picked the rocks out of the scab and tried again. And again. And again. No luck.

"Last time," I said to myself.

I took a deep breath. I sprinted forward. I jumped into the air and twisted into a front flip. I slipped on some loose rocks and slammed into the ground. My vision went dark.

* * * * *

I couldn't see the sky. Something wet was on my forehead. Was that covering my eyes? I could feel something hot near me. I raised a weak hand to my forehead and moved the bandages.

"Be careful, nephew. I don't want you to lose any more blood."

I looked at my uncle wearily. My head was pounding. There was a loud, incessant ringing in my ears.

"What happened?" I asked. My voice was hoarse.

"I went looking for you and found you laying on the ground. Your head was bleeding terribly, so I wrapped it. I do admit I didn't do the best job, but it sufficed."

"Agni, how much am I going to bleed today?"

"Let's hope this is the last time," he chuckled.

"Where is everyone?"

"Your friends went to Omashu for the deal not long before I left to look for you."

"How long ago was that?"

"About half an hour. I told Koji that I'd gone looking for you, so I'm sure your friends will be back looking for us soon."

I closed my eyes. "Uncle, I want you to teach me more firebending. I'm going to have to face Azula eventually."

"Well, I'll teach you once you're better."

"I'm fine," I said.

"Zuko."

"What?"

He sighed. "Please, nephew, you need to relax. Once your friends get back, we'll have Katara fix your wound and head off."

I sighed. "Fine. I don't care."

"I think you do care. But it's alright to not want to admit it."

I sighed deeply. "Spirits, please strike me down. This is too much."

To my surprise, Uncle didn't comment on that. I wondered if I'd said it in my head. 

"They're down there!" a voice above me shouted. My eyes flew open.

My friends were above us. Appa soared down and landed not far from us. I tried to sit up, but my head felt like it was made of lead.

"Spirits, what happened to you?" Sokka asked. He walked over and removed the bandages from my head.

"Firebending practice. Hit my head."

"It looks really bad," Katara said. She opened her water gourd and healed my wound. "Stop getting hurt."

I shrugged. "I've been hurt worse. Did you get your friend, Aang?" I asked. I got to my feet with some help.

Aang shook his head. "But I have someone else I need to look for. Bumi said I have to find an earthbender who listens to the earth. I'm going to find them, and I'm going to become an earthbender."

"Well, I wish you luck." 

"Thanks." He hugged me tightly.

I patted the top of his head. "How did the trade go otherwise?"

"This girl was there and she tried to kill us," Katara said. "She told that Mai girl that her brother wasn't worth the same as Bumi. There was also this girl who was really good at gymnastics. She took away my bending…" 

"Was the fire blue?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked.

"Sokka. This is important. Was the fire blue?" 

"Yeah. Was the firebender girl your sister?"

I nodded. "If you're going to say that she's shockingly powerful, or that you've never seen blue fire before, or that I'm the lesser of the two of us, I know. I've heard it a thousand times."

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say that she's terrifying."

"My niece has been a prodigy since childhood," Uncle said. "My brother liked her more because of that."

"That was the only reason he liked her," I said. "Azula is a good person, deep down. She used to be such a sweet person when we were kids. She first managed to firebend at the age of four. I was proud of her.

"Our father turned her into a monster. He doesn't really care about her. He would've thrown her aside if she wasn't such a prodigy. If I could help her, then she could be good. The only reason I'm not like her is because I had support."

"If you want to help her, why are you so scared of her?" Aang asked.

I sighed. "I'm scared because if she did find us and we couldn't stop her, she'd kill us. She wants the throne. She wants to make Father proud." I hesitated. "I… I think she might even be afraid that he'll do the same to her as he did to me."

"What did he do to you?" Sokka asked.

I didn't answer for a moment. "Man, I wish I could get drunk again," I said, trying to change the subject. "You know, one time, when I was still looking for the Avatar--"

"Zuko, what did he do to you?" 

"I don't want to talk about it," I said. "Can we just go? Don't we have places to be?"

"Well, yeah, we have to go to find Aang a new earthbending teacher," Katara said.

I nodded. "Then let's go."


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gaang arrives in a mysterious swamp and sees ghosts of their pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of child abuse and an autistic meltdown/dissociation

"Spare some coins for a couple of weary travellers?"

The man tossed a couple copper pieces in the hat and walked off. I growled and crossed my arms.

"This is humiliating! Why do we have to do this?"

"Because we're running low and need some money." He held up the hat. "Spare some change for a hungry old man?"

The woman dropped in some coins. "Here you go."

"The coin is appreciated, but not as much as your smile!"

She giggled and walked away. I growled.

"I'm going back to everyone else."  _ After I go find some money in a  _ better _ way. _

"Are you sure?"

I stood up.

A man walked over. A pair of swords were strapped to his back. He spoke before Uncle could.

How about some entertainment for a gold piece?" He held up the coin with a flourish.

"We aren't performers," I snapped.

"Well, not professional performers."

Uncle stood up and started to sing. " _ It's a long, long way to Ba Sing Se, but the girls in the city, they look so pretty! _ "

The man smiled cruelly. "Come on, we're talking about a gold piece here!" He drew his swords. "Dance!"

I had to struggle to not attack him then and there. I restrained myself, however, I made a mental note of his appearance and the direction he went in.

That evening, I was sitting back at our little campsite with my friends. I stood up and grabbed my swords. 

"I'll be back soon," I said.

"Where are you going?" Aang asked.

"To commit murder."

He laughed. "Good one, Zuko."

"Yeah," I said. I grabbed the rucksack with my costume in it and walked away. I changed into it before going looking for the bastard.

It wasn't very hard to find the man. I cornered him in an alleyway and disarmed him. Earlier that day, I'd noticed that he'd been holding the swords incorrectly. He was very clearly an amateur. The way he'd been holding them was the same way I had when I was just starting to learn them.

I walked toward him and raised my swords, bringing them down swiftly on him. I stopped right at the base of his neck. I could see the fear in his eyes.

_ I can't kill you. But I'll rob you of everything you've got. _

I grabbed his swords and pinned him against the wall with them, then took the bag of coins sitting at his hip. I scaled the wall and ran back to the camp. I changed quickly.

"How'd that murder go?" Sokka asked. He was sitting up in his sleeping bag.

"Fine. Here." I tossed the bag to him. "Found that on the way back. I didn't check how much was in it, but it's quite a bit of money. Should get us through a couple weeks."

I laid down on my sleeping bag. I heard him looking through the pouch, likely counting out the coins. I closed my eyes.

* * * * *

"Aang, why are we flying down?" Sokka asked.

I looked up. Aang was staring down below us.

"Aang!"

He snapped out of it. "What?"

"Why are we flying down?"

Katara moved to the front of the saddle. "What's wrong, Aang?"

"This is going to sound weird, but I think the swamp is calling to me."

"Is it telling you where there's something to eat?"

I shook my head. "I don't think there's anything to eat down there other than bugs."

"I think it wants us to land there."

"Yeah, sounds crazy. Let's just go," I said.

"Bumi said I need to learn earthbending from a bender who listens to the earth. Do you want me to ignore it?"

"Yes," I said.

"Probably better if we do," Sokka said, shrugging.

Katara looked at the swamp. "It feels really ominous."

"I'm not so sure that going down is a good idea," Uncle said.

"Okay then. Bye, swamp! Appa, yip yip!"

We started to fly higher again. I looked up when I heard something behind us.

"Tornado!" I said.

I grabbed onto the side of the saddle as tight as I could. The thing was getting closer. It pulled Sokka off of the saddle. I let go of the saddle to grab his hands tightly.

"Don't let go!" I shouted

"I'm not going to!" he shouted back.

Aang made an air shield around us. Sokka fell directly on top of me. Our faces were centimeters apart. His face gained a reddish hue. I assumed mine did too since it had gone hot.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Hey, lover boy," he said, winking at me.

I tried to stutter out a word, but nothing came out. He laughed when I pushed his face away.

"You're the worst. I should've let you fall."

"Nah, you wouldn't. You're a big softie."

"And if you did, we would've thrown you off after him," Katara said.

"We wouldn't throw you off. We wouldn't let either of you fall this far," Uncle said.

I looked out towards the tornado. It was right behind us. I shouted and stumbled back.

"Appa, fly faster!" I shouted over the roar of the wind.

There was a loud crack. We fell out of the sky. The five of us flew out of the saddle. I closed my eyes tight.

I landed roughly in the water. I was breathing hard. I opened my eyes. I was laying in the mud.

"Is everyone alright?" Aang asked.

"I'm fine," I growled.

"Katara and I are okay," Sokka said.

"Not too badly hurt. Maybe a couple bruises," Uncle said. He sounded cheery.

"Good. Where are Appa and Momo?" he asked. "Appa! Momo!" He climbed up one of the trees and tried to see our animals.

"Sokka, you've got an elbow leech," Katara said. 

He started looking all over his body, ignoring his elbow. "Where is it?!" he shouted.

"Where do you think it is?" she asked sarcastically. She crossed her arms.

I walked over and took it off. I tossed it away.

"Ugh, why does everything keep attaching to me?!" he snapped. 

Aang landed in the water near us.

"Did you find them, Avatar?" Uncle asked.

He shook his head. "No luck."

Sokka pulled out his machete. I drew my swords. 

"Are we dueling?" I asked.

He looked at me, completely bewildered. "No, we're going to cut through the vines."

"Oh! Right! Uh, I'm just going to…" I sheathed my swords.

He shook his head. "Alright. Let's go. Into the swamp!"

Sokka led the way, using his weapon to slice through the vines. Aang and Katara tried to make him stop.

"Guys, we should be nicer to the swamp," Aang said.

"What do you want us to do, apologize to it?" Sokka asked. "I'm sorry, swamp but we need to get out of here!"

"I agree with Aang," Katara said. "This place feels almost… alive."

"There's a lot of stuff alive here," I said, "and if we want to stay one of those things, we need to find Appa and Momo so we can leave. I don't like this place. It's creepy."

"Didn't you tell me once that you  _ liked _ creepy things, nephew?"

"I said that I have a cynical sense of humor, not that I like creepy things."

"You had a sense of humor when you were younger?" Sokka asked.

"Sokka, don't be rude," Katara said.

"Says the girl who's always making snide remarks to everything he says."

"Yes, but I'm saying that stuff like I do to you."

"And I'm saying it the same way!"

"Guys, can we please stop fighting?" Aang asked.

"Sorry," they both said. 

"Zuko, do you want to say something about it?" He looked at me.

I shrugged. "There's not much to say. I had a really weird sense of humor as a child, got traumatized by my father multiple times, and became extremely cynical. I have a dry and cynical sense of humor now."

He nodded. "Okay. Well, I agree with you, I think we should make camp for the night. We'll get some wood and make a fire."

Sokka went to get some firewood. I helped out in drying out the area and getting sleeping bags. We finished a lot faster than he did. I sat down and started a small flame in my palm. I let it begin to dance around.

"Aang, come here." 

The Avatar looked at me, bewildered. He walked over and sat beside me. "What's up?"

"Here. Hold out your hands."

He cupped his hands. I carefully slid the fire onto his palms. 

"Keep your breathing steady. Don't freak out. The flame is connected to your breath and heart. Uncle taught me that power in firebending comes from the breath." I looked at Uncle. "Right?"

"That's right, nephew."

I smiled, proud that I had remembered such a thing. I looked back at Aang. He was staring at the fire.

"It feels alive," he said.

"Yeah?"

He nodded. His eyes were wide. He was afraid of it. I opened my mouth to say something, but Katara spoke before I could, answering my question before I could even ask it.

"When he first found a firebender to teach him, he ended up accidentally hurting me. He swore off firebending."

"I wanted to swear of firebending after my Agni Kai. I did, in fact. I refused to do firebending for years. Luckily for me, I already knew how to use the dual swords. But learning firebending saved my life. In the North Pole, I had to use the fire breath to keep myself from freezing to death."

"You wanted to swear off bending because you lost a fight?" Aang asked.

I shrugged. "I mean… that's part of it. But there's more to it…"  _ Just say it, get it over with.  _ "That's when my face was burned off. My father decided that it was a good way of teaching me respect."

"Your  _ father _ gave you the scar?" Katara asked.

"He did what?" Sokka asked, walking over to us with a small amount of wood.

"My brother was the one who Prince Zuko's first Agni Kai was against. The fight resulted in his face being burnt off."

Sokka sat the wood down. "Okay. Once we get out of this swamp, I'm going to go kill Ozai myself."

"Sokka, you would literally die if you fought him," Aang said.

"And I'll take him down with me."

I sighed. "Let's just start this fire and get some sleep, okay?"

* * * * *

"Uncle! Sokka!" I shouted, looking around. I couldn't see them anywhere. I called for them again.

With no answer, I decided to just choose a direction and go that way. There wasn't anyone I could see. At least, until I noticed something bright red ahead. 

"E-excuse me?" I asked, approaching the woman.

She turned around and I stumbled back.

_ Her eyes, her hair, her face… _ "Mom?"

"I told you not to follow me, Zuko. You shouldn't be here."

"But I didn't follow you."

"You need to go home."

"But I can't. And I don't want to, I want to stay with you." I wrapped my arms tightly around her.

But my arms passed right through her. I opened my eyes, only to find that I was hugging myself. She was gone. Again.

"No, no, no! Mom, please come back!" I shouted. "Mom!"

I shouted in anger and fell to my knees. I didn't care that I was getting wet from the swamp water. I felt tears fall down my face.

_ She's gone. She's gone, and it's all my fault. Why couldn't I have been the one to die? Why did she give herself up for me?  _

I couldn't breathe. I was choking each time I inhaled. There wasn't any feeling in my hands. All the sounds of the swamp around me felt distant. Even the voices of my friends were distant.

"Guys, I found him!" a voice shouted. I couldn't identify it. It sounded like the voice was coming from under the water. 

Something orange and yellow appeared in front of me and hugged me tightly. My brain took a moment to register what was happening, but when it did, I closed my eyes. After a bit, my breathing began to slow again and the feeling returned to my hands. 

"What happened?" Aang asked.

"I thought I finally had her back…"

"See, like I said: it's just us seeing people we miss," Sokka said.

"Sokka, quit trying to rationalize this for a moment, okay?" Katara snapped. "Some of us are still in shock after seeing them."

"I'm just saying that that's what happened! Look, the swamp is just making us hallucinate. Let's just find Appa and Momo and get out of here."

"I agree. Let's go find them. Okay, so whatever visions we were having were leading us here."

"Where is here?" Sokka asked.

"I believe that it's the middle of the swamp," Uncle said. "The heart of the swamp, you could say."

Aang's face lit up. "I was right! The swamp  _ was _ calling to me!"

"It's a  _ tree _ , Aang," Sokka said. "It wasn't calling anyone."

"There may be a spirit here," Uncle said. "I wouldn't suggest insulting it."

"I agree," I said. "I don't think we should insult whoever is here. Or whatever."

"Come on, am I really the only one who doesn't believe in this?"

Katara sighed. "Sokka, you got abducted into the spirit realm and dated a girl who turned into the moon spirit. Of all people, you should believe this the most."

"He got abducted by a spirit?" I asked.

"Yep! He was taken by a spirit named Hei Bei! He's actually a really cool spirit. He's the spirit of the forest. He was angry because the Fire Nation burned down part of the forest."

"Then why don't you believe in this?"

"Because it's a  _ swamp _ . We have no evidence of their being any magic here at all."

"I think you might want to change your mind about that, Sokka," Uncle said. He pointed at something. We turned to look.

A large creature made of vines was moving toward us. It raised an arm and wrapped vines around Sokka. I shot a fire blast at its wooden mask. Aang sliced off its arm with airbending, causing it to drop him.

Katara sliced at its side with water. I drew my swords and slashed at it, and Sokka did the same with his machete. Uncle used firebending, and Aang used airbending. 

"There's someone in there!" Katara said. "They're bending the vines!" She sliced at it, knocking the mask off. The vines fell away to reveal a man wearing nothing but a loincloth made of leaves. 

"Who are you?" Aang asked. "Why did you call us here if you are just going to try to kill us?"

"Call you here? Now why do you think I'd do that?"

"Because I felt something calling me…"

"He's the Avatar," Sokka explained. 

"The Avatar?" he asked. When we nodded, he motioned for us to follow him.

And for some reason, we followed him. Dammit.

* * * * *

We found Appa and Momo pretty quickly after that and managed to get out. We decided to land soon after leaving the swamp. We built a fire and laid out our sleeping bags.

"I've decided to go off on my own. None of you can stop me."

There was a beat of silence that cut through the happy conversation.

"Why are you leaving?" Sokka asked.

"And where are you planning on going?" Uncle asked.

"I don't know. I'm just going to go. Let myself wander."

"You're going to become a nomad and find yourself," Aang said. "I think that's a great idea. You'll be able to learn more about Earth Kingdom culture and figure out who you are as a person."

I nodded once. That was part of why I wanted to go, but the main reason I was going was because I wanted to be alone for a while. I was going because I needed space.

"When are you leaving?" Katara asked.

I shrugged. "In the morning, probably. I'll take my swords and my bag."

"We  _ will _ meet up again, won't we?" Sokka asked. "How will you find us?"

"I mean, I am pretty good at finding things. I can track you guys down easy."

"Hey, it's not like you haven't done it a dozen times before," Aang said.

I smiled a little. "Yeah. Exactly." I sighed. "Anyways. Let's get to bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the ending is abrupt, i wanted to try having zuko go off alone and so i could have practice writing some internal monologues


End file.
